• RSS

Friday, May 27, 2011

Dahlia's Story, and an Invitation to Share Your Story

This was sent to me by Dahlia-  
Where do our attachments to certain divine entities come from? When each of us move on this path we start somewhere and different Gods and Goddesses find us, call us, or make themselves infinitely present. It may be as simple as earth mother and father sky, or it can be as specific as a pantheon or grouping that hits in the gut, stirs the belly, and lays roots. Here is the story of where I started. Every persons is completely different and beautiful, and I would love to read them all! Please feel free to comment and tell your story. . . 
A little girl was walking hand in hand with her mother through an average suburban neighborhood. The streets were quiet and the night was clear and cool. A breeze blew through the trees in it's musical way allowing the leaves to dance and create their own song. The shadows from the street lights were long and caressed the sidewalk with their form. "Mommy I see the moon and he sees me". I said as I looked up walking hazardly with her keeping a strong grip on my hand. She gently squeezed and said "that man in the moon is a silly husbands tale, the real story is much more magickal." As we rambled down the street ,lights shadowing our path with sleeping houses she told me, " The moon is ours, she is connected to women,. Our bodies are mystically linked in her knowledge and our cycles are hers.”
It was one of those moments that reach in a grasp your breath, one that makes you remember your alive and that there is more to your world around you. That little girl knew there was a God that protected her, that she could talk to when she needed. When she was sad or angry, wanting and searching, hurt or felt pure joy, she laid in bed in front of her window talking to that moon. In that moment God and the moon made sense. They merged and she felt the shimmer of it run down her skin. God wasn’t always the man with all the answers but the moon was the mother the could pass on her comfort and knowledge. When she talked to the moon, asked her for help, she wasn’t looking to the embodiment of a Christian God, but talking to the Great Mother, to protect and give strength, teach and to learn from..
My mother, at the time would have considered herself a Christian, a Presbyterian, a modern feminist, wanting to teach her child to be a capable self-sufficient woman. But that little girl who loves dresses and makeup, who could care less about her gi joe and picked up Barbie and She-ra, who couldn’t wait to wear a bra and shave, left the traditional American feminism behind and found comfort and home in the woman in the moon.
She could be strong and important while wearing a dress. She could cook a meal, fight and epic battle, love deeply, and help to find harmony in the world around her. She was woman and she was whole.

3 comments:

Kylara said...

I don't recall an 'aha' moment. I know that I was searching for a couple of years already because I had some audio tapes that my friend sent me of her preacher explaining some Christian theology, which she said I asked for.

I was exposed to the concepts of Paganism and witchcraft and then began my search for deity. I had always been mostly a tomboy. I didn't shun girl toys or dresses completely, and yet I never did the makeup thing (beyond nail polish) and never ever thought of myself as girly. Once the girls my age started to be more into the girly things, I started hanging out more with the guys, which set me into a more aggressive mindset.

I think this is part of what led me to the Norse pantheon. The idea of a warrior woman was very appealing. I never had the aversion to male deity that some had due to being raised with a Christian God, but I did not empathize with a lot of the hearth and home deities.

In the end, it came down to an intrinsic sensation...the physical way I felt when I said their names. It was something I hadn't experienced before in my searching, and it moved me.

Greyer Notions said...

I have always been personally annoyed at what society thinks I as a person of female gender should or shouldn't be doing based on my gender. I have always been happiest doing and being instead of appearing, or waiting. I remember before I was in first grade, my brother and I ran around in identical clothes, jeans and t-shirts, out in the back yard, playing physical games, rough housing in the yard, and climbing. When sent to school, my day now included dresses, and behaving. My goal, from then on, was to escape back to just being, and out of dresses and monitored behavior whenever possible. The older I got, the more annoying it got. In junior high, I managed to finally complain enough to get back into jeans (at which point, I swore I was never not wearing them, if I could help it), and also read about Greek Mythology and the Witchhunts. I found Athena, who is beautiful, fierce, womanly, warlike, clever, and an inventor. I wished fervently that one could still worship the Greek Gods, where Gods were both male and female, and you could be tough, beautiful, and smart and be as good or better than men at the things they claim as theirs. I studied the Witch hunts for evidence of how to do magic, as anything they were willing to kill people for must be real. I dreamed lucidly of the Witch's Sabbats at that time, where there were no food made with baby's fat, and no kissing the Devi's bottom, but there was fellowship, love, the Horned God, and feasting. In high-school, I reluctantly tried to be that which I was not, to make boys like me. Didn't work. In college, i found myself again, dressed like I wanted, talked like I wanted, met the man of my dreams by being a cursing, clever, role-playing fighting gamer girl, wearing make-up only when I was going out for festive occasions, and wearing army-surplus. I found "Drawing Down the Moon", discovered that some people WERE witches, and worship non-Christian gods, and never looked back. Athena was still as cool as ever, and gives me good advice in luminous thoughts in my head, or directing me to a book that tells me what I want to know, I am no more decoratively womanly than I feel inspired at any given moment to be, but I have my admirers. Being myself is all I need to be.

M.E. Tudor said...

This is an interesting conversation. I'm still searching for a God, Goddess or spirtual being that I feel truly connected to. I've felt drawn to the Christian God on and off throughout my life but I'm always put off by the people in the Christian places of worship and the beliefs that push on people. I also feel that the Christian, Jewish and Muslim view of women is very demeaning. I think women play a much stronger and important role in the world then they have been given the proper credit for. I, too, have always been a tomboy and find that I am more comfortable being friends with men then I am women, even though I prefer women as lovers. Weird, huh, anyway, I guess I will go on searching for the spiritual being and beliefs that I finally feel align with what I belief about everything.